The ground rules for summer
Hi kids, it’s me, Mom!
Look, summer vacation is right around the corner. We’re all going to be together a lot and we have to have some rules.
The first rule is:
Ignorance of the Rules is no excuse.
Load the dishwasher, but do it right.
We can’t keep ahead of the peanut butter demand, so each person is limited to no more than Two (2) tablespoons of peanut butter per day. Rations may be traded or purchased. Currency includes cash, Oreos, unprompted cleaning of the kitchen or making of the bed.
Dont use up all the milk. Also tell someone if you use up all the milk. And by someone, I mean me.
Zero out the microwave so the clock is visible.
Close the pantry door next to the dog gate so someone doesn’t trip and kill themselves. I know, stories of similar accidents are amusing, but really, someone could die.
Refill the gd toilet paper holder when it runs out!
Clean up sticky surfaces after you eat
Wash your hands
Nagging Any request for a purchase is strictly limited to official presentations to the purchasing department. The department is open between 12:00 pm and 1 pm daily and the department head (mom) will accept the following bribes: Oreo cookies, cleaning of the kitchen in advance of the request, making of one’s bed for one week, unprompted. All nagging outside of the above listed hours will be ignored and will at some point cause and outburst of anger containing but not limited to one previously unheard swear word.