Air Pods and Air Bud are two very different things and other lessons from parenting today's teens

The other day, I was chatting with a few friends, and one mentioned a great new purchase.

“I got those wireless headphones. Air pods?” she said uncertainly.

“YASSS! Thas IS what they are called! Way to get it right!” I cried.

Then we high fived each other.

Somewhere, across town, at least one of my children felt an overwhelming urge to cringe.

Moms are trying their best to stay relevant and understand the world around them. Air pods (or Air Buds, as I can’t stop calling them) are something my kids definitely know the name of and also think are really cool. But do not mention that to them or they will die inside and say “Never mind.”

And don’t even try to catch what the heck they are laughing at when they quote a meme. Nothing ever means anything or is referencing anything and no it’s not about drugs so don’t worry. (Although I recently learned a dab pen is has nothing to do with the dance move so beware!)

The other day, I tried to get in on the action by saying “I smell like chicken.”

So close, and yet so far.

Then there’s the vehicle for culture consumption. Just calling it culture consumption and suggesting it has a vehicle sounds way more geriatric than intellectual, I know. I’m just trying to recoup by brain points from that time I called it “Freylinghuysen’s Cat” by mistake. I was trying to refer to Schrodinger’s Cat, which you can read about here, but I really don’t understand.

But I digress. Do not make the mistake of asking your 16 year old son if he is quoting something he saw on Tic Tok. Tic Tok is basically the replacement for which itself replaced Vine sort of. If you still don’t get it (Hi, Mom!!) regular people upload short videos that are often meant to be funny. And Tic Tok, I have been told in no uncertain terms, is for those in middle school. High Schoolers get their memes through Instagram or Snapchat (I first wrote “Stop chat” because I’m that far out of my depth right now.)

The funny thing is, it’s not like I don’t consume my own quick take internet based content — clunky term, I know. Will it take off? QTIC? Let’s make it a thing Madison Moms! I do see some of the viral things. They’re just for my demo. In researching this post I did a simple google search for “inexplicable memes” and went down a rabbit hole that so upset me I searched for “Wholesome Memes” to cleanse my pallet. They were all so funny and made me feel better!

Here’s one from the twitter account @wholesomememes

The dog is so surprised! Look at his eyes!!

The dog is so surprised! Look at his eyes!!

And I noticed there were many memes with pictures of Keanu Reeves either noting what a great guy he is attributing positive quotes to him (I actually called out our Colleen one time for reposting something like this after I did a little checking and discovered there’s no evidence he said that. But as she said, he is pretty to look at.)

Yeah, he probably said that, right?

And even my relatively luddite husband (he calls hashtags pound signs #thatswhyIlovehim) does consume the odd viral content (another, better term? Odd Viral Content? OVC?) every so often. He got really excited when the video my daughter had showed him of some home surveillance footage of a Dobby from Harry Potter-like creature walking in someone’s driveway made his news stream. Kinda like that time I had to click on all the Jefree Star/Tati drama stories that popped up on my newsfeed so I could stay relevant with my kids!

Who am I kidding? I will never be relevant with my kids. I will always be the dankest meme they know. I guess I gotta be okay with that.