Important questions to ask yourself before your summer vacation
What shade of toenail polish will make me look least like a tourist? Allot one hour of internet browsing to determine the “in” shade at your destination.
How big does my hat need to be so that it is still functional but also makes me look as good as Amal Clooney? (Allot two hours of browsing but know that this is the picture you are looking for. There are none that are better.)
How many times can I look at the travel sized items area at the CVS before I am convinced that a small spray can of dry shampoo is a necessity for each member of the family? Why are there so many varieties of dry shampoo is such charming small packaging? (Allot 4 hours of internet research to determine who needs which brand. Then allow 30 minutes to go to CVS and just buy what they have.)
Will my visit to the container store cause my husband to shudder wherever he is so badly that he figures out I am at the container store with a full cart of “travel essentials.”? (Do NOT google Travel Essentials. Be strong.)
Why are compression socks travel essentials? And why are they suddenly so cute?! Turns out some people’s ankles swell on long flights and the socks are good for circulation which means maybe no Deep Vein Thrombosis? (You can google it, but again, this is the picture you are looking for.)
Packing cubes: my new religion? I know, I was pretty dedicated to the bin life, and I still love bins, but now there are packing cubes! I get an ASMR like tingle from watching packing cube videos like this one. Everyone who uses packing cubes seems just that much better those who don’t. I aspire to be a packing cube user, but I’m also afraid they won’t work so I haven’t actually used the ones I impulse bought at The Container Store. I’ll let you know how it goes. (Save allotted screen time for next week, when I try to actually pack using packing cubes.)
How to balance embarassing my family against the comfort this pillow will definitely bring me on the plane?
Should I lift our summer time cell phone limits from our phones on the plane? I mean, obviously yes, except if I’m being honest, I don’t understand how these limits really work. I mean, I set mine to two hours but when I checked my screen time it said I was on for 5 hours including like 22 minutes on an article about whether there will ever be a Robin movie with Joseph Gordon Levitt (I can dream), which I never read because the headline was something like “Why there will never be a Robin movie with Joseph Gordon Levitt.”
How bad would it be if I let someone go on our trip together pack for themselves only to find out they have a bag full of bobby pins and eye makeup palettes? I mean, I could use some extra beauty stuff, but what would this person wear?
Oh right, Are your passports are up to date and do you have travel confirmations blah blah blah ? I can’t even think about it because I have to check the internet for weirder travel pillows and how to use cell phone screen time limits.