I Have Found It: The Worst Commercial A Parent Can See
I see a lot of ads on Facebook. Everything from clothing to hair products (these are the ads that the Facebook algorithm selects for me) are there in my timeline every day. And that's fine, Facebook has to pay the bills, so I dutifully scroll past them, sometimes seven clicking through and in very, very select times, I have actually purchased the products advertised. It's part of the Facebook experience, and I don't begrudge them for using their platform for sponsors. All was well, until today. Yes, I have found the commercial that advertises what has to be the worst product a parent can purchase. Actually, it's not even the product itself, which can be fun in very small quantities. It's the suggested use as seen in the commercial. The expanding water beads, which you might have seen in your own home, are fun for kids, and can even be used as sensory tools. But take a look at this commercial and tell me it's not your absolute worst nightmare.
WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK IS THIS SUGGESTING?
I don't know about you, but the idea of playing with water beads should be contained to a small vessel like a cup or bowl, yes? Not the sink. Not the tub. Not, for the love of everything, the TOILET. The first time I saw this commercial I kept muttering "the horror...THE HORROR" and my shock was confirmed by a friend who confessed that yes, she had used the water beads in the bathtub with her daughter. The mess, she said, was ghastly, and impossible to clean up.
"They get everywhere," she mourned. "They are impossible to pick up with the human hand."
"Why," I asked, "why on earth would you do such a thing?"
"I got carried away."
There were several other responses to this video on my Facebook page, none of which had language I can repeat here, but rest assured, the parents that saw this were...less than amused. Deities were called upon to banish this product to hell itself, and the stunned shrieking of "NO NO NO NO NO" echoed through my comments. It is as if this product was put on earth simply to torture parents, and this commercial is more horrific than any monster movie I have ever seen.
This is not to say that in the correct place, these beads would not be fun. A small bowl of them would be delightful, but the vessels used in this ad are incredibly ill-advised. To the maker of this commercial I ask of you, why? WHY would you encourage kids to destroy their parents' septic system? Why in the name of pants would you suggest a child to pour 10,000 tiny beads in the sink, or TOILET? Do you hate parents? Or wait.Wait a minute.
Was this commercial made by a six year old? That is the only explanation that makes a lick of sense to me.