Heard Over the Monitor

Zoe wakes up.

Zoe starts playing and singing.

Zoe gets quiet.

Zoe starts yelling "Mommy! It's not poop! It's not poop, Mommy!" (in a tone that sounds like she's saying "I promise Mommy, it's not poop. Trust me.")

I start to run upstairs, instantly thinking "Oh no.... it's poop. Why is she saying it's not poop??? Is it being used in some non-poop way? Is she really trying to tell me 'Hey Mom... look, it's not just poop... it can be used as paint!... or shampoo!... or earplugs!... or a facial cream!'". The list in my head flies in the seconds it takes to get upstairs.

I open her bedroom door waiting for the smell.

I turn on the light waiting for the sight.

I see nothing unusual. No poop in sight (or in smell).

Zoe smiles.

Zoe says "Mommy, it's not poop!"

After catching my breath I ask "Well Zoe, if it's not poop... what is it?"

Zoe says "It's not poop... it's farts!!!"

Zoe cracks up laughing.... and I join her.

Wacky kid.