All the stages of Thanksgiving planning

I’m hosting Thanksgiving this year for the third time. It is one of my favorite things to do, and I am truly looking forward to having most of my family here together tomorrow.
However, right now, I’m in the stage where you yell at your family like a maniac (or this person) while wearing this:

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It’s not a pretty stage.

We go through a lot of stages getting ready for thanksgiving. Here they are


Pin the wattle on the turkey day location stage

Sometimes it’s pretty simple: for years and years years, we all went to my grandparent’s lake house for thanksgiving, It was her holiday to put on, until the yelling stage got to be a little much (I don’t recall, but she may have been wearing cheetah slippers too). And we went to the club at the lake for dinner. But Mom mom is looking down from above now (and maybe possessing me for short periods) and the tradition hasn’t exactly taken root in one spot. My mom has hosted some years, and she has the most convenient location for the group. But it’s four hours for us, minimum, and when my daughter joined Marching Band and thus had Thanksgiving weekend commitments, I played my “traveling far with four kids and a husband is a pain” card and started hosting, This year, we thought about going back to the lake for nostalgia purposes, since the lake house is on the market, but that, and giving my parents the chance to stay home but also open their house to all of us, finally fell through in early November, so I am host again!


Self talk stage

I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people love me! Okay, that’s what Stuart Smalley said to himself in the mirror, but I may have borrowed those pre-TG shop. And on the way from the Whole Foods to the car, you may have heard me saying “Brussel Sprouts are done, Baby!” before the obligatory “It takes literally seconds to return the cart” quote


Sing. Sing a song stage

Sometimes, you gotta sing. Sometimes, it’s all just a little tense, and right when someone gets upset because you peeled the potatoes for the mashed potatoes, someone else sings “The beets are done!” to the tune of Glenn Frye’s “The Heat is on” and all is well with the universe.


Turkey Dinner: CSI stage

Say you are storing the food that won’t fit in your refrigerator in your unheated garage. A few pies, an errant leftover pizza and the like. Say your daughter goes out to get in the car and comes back to say “There’s a suspicious piece of pie crust on the garage floor.” That’s when a little detective work and a very official finger poke reveals that it is not pie at all, but a chunk of left behind croissant.

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Why are we out of everything stage


That was last night, when I realized we had no toilet paper, no paper towels, no dish soap, no dishwasher pods, no scouring pads and just generally nothing that we usually have to run the household. How did that happen? Maybe because I skipped keeping up on the regular stuff to get themed napkins and fancy dress aprons? Probably that.


The Happily Ever After Stage

This will come tomorrow, when the third and final turkey comes out of the oven and we all sit down to eat. I’ll be wearing this:


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Beth McConnellComment