Heard Over the Monitor
Zoe wakes up.
Zoe starts playing and singing.
Zoe gets quiet.
Zoe starts yelling "Mommy! It's not poop! It's not poop, Mommy!" (in a tone that sounds like she's saying "I promise Mommy, it's not poop. Trust me.")
I start to run upstairs, instantly thinking "Oh no.... it's poop. Why is she saying it's not poop??? Is it being used in some non-poop way? Is she really trying to tell me 'Hey Mom... look, it's not just poop... it can be used as paint!... or shampoo!... or earplugs!... or a facial cream!'". The list in my head flies in the seconds it takes to get upstairs.
I open her bedroom door waiting for the smell.
I turn on the light waiting for the sight.
I see nothing unusual. No poop in sight (or in smell).
Zoe says "Mommy, it's not poop!"
After catching my breath I ask "Well Zoe, if it's not poop... what is it?"
Zoe says "It's not poop... it's farts!!!"
Zoe cracks up laughing.... and I join her.